Housepet: The Meowtrix
by ViolentFluffernutter
Summary: A retelling of The Matrix trilogy with characters from Rick Griffin's "Housepets!" webcomic.


Chapter One

Siren blared, cutting sharply through the city night as police cars raced down the streets. At least a dozen of them careened through traffic, swerving around corners and going well over the speed limit before screeching to a stop in front of an abandoned building. The police officers, a random mixture of dogs and cats, scrambled out of their cars, hurrying to form a barrier around the entrance, water pistols in paw.

"All right," the chief announced, "I want a team in there to flush her out! Any volunteers?"

A symphony of nervous mumbling broke out as the officers waited for someone else to volunteer.

"Oh, come on!" the chief yelled. "It's just a cat! A girl cat! Are you telling me none of you think you can take her down?"

"I don't," one officer said, raising his hand.

"Yeah, me neither," said a second.

"Can we go home now?" asked a third.

The chief slapped his forehead in exasperation before pointing out officers at random, "You, you, you, you, and you," he said, "You're all going in there!"

"What about you?" one of the officers asked.

"Don't ask questions, boy!" the chief thundered. "Just get in there and get her out!"

As the team of officers awkwardly shuffled their way into the building, another car pulled up to the perimeter. The doors opened, and three identical Siamese cats stepped out. All three of them were wearing green suits, sunglasses, and had radios plugged into their ears. Slowly, with an almost unnatureal grace, they made their way to the entrance.

"You were ordered to wait, Chief," said the cat in front.

"You took too long getting here," the chief argued.

The cat reached up and adjusted his sunglasses, "Those orders were for your protection."

The chief chuckled, "I think my men can take down one little cat. A girl cat!"

The three cats exchanged a glance, and wordlessly made their way into the building.

"I sent a team inside!" the chief called after them. "They're bringing her down now!"

The first cat turned around, "No, chief, your officers are already soaked."

Inside the building, the team of officers slowly made their way to the third floor, shaking with fear. They came to a door halfway down the hallway.

"I don't want to do this," one officer whined.

"It's dark in here!" another whimpered.

For a moment, all the officers just stood there, staring at the door. Finally, one of them stepped forward.

"Okay, guys, let's just get this over with. On three, okay?" The others nodded. "One… Two… Three!"

With that, the officer kicked the door, which exploded inwards. Acting a lot braver than they felt, the team rushed inside, pointing their water pistols at the lone figure inside.

It was a cat, but her fur gleamed an unnatural shade of purple in the dim light. She sat in a chair, her back to the officers.

"Paws up!" one of the officers shouted.

Slowly, the cat raised her paws above her head. The squad all breathed a sigh of relief, hardly able to believe that she had given up so easily.

But then, in one lightning quick motion, the cat spun around and kicked her chair at them. The police let out a high pitched scream of terror as the chair smacked their comrades firmly in their faces, knocking them over backwards. They pointed their water pistols at her and desperately began pulling the triggers, sending streams of water flying at the cat.

Before their eyes, the purple cat leaped into the air, and began to run across the wall, evading the water without a drop getting on her shiny leather outfit. With a flip, she landed back on the floor and punched one of the officers so hard that he flew backwards, knocking the two other officers behind him over as well. Spinning around, she landed a powerful kick on another officer. Then she jumped up, performing a midair split to kick the last two remaining officers in their faces. Landing back on the ground, she took off from the room, leaving behind a room full of moaning police officers.

"That was awesome," one of them croaked as she slammed the door shut behind her.

But as the purple cat entered the hallway, one of the suited Siamese cats appeared at the top of the stairs. His face expressionless, he pulled out his own water pistol and began firing at her. The cat rolled to avoid being hit, and took off in the opposite direction. The window at the other end of the hall was open, and she leaped through it, sailing out of the building and straight into the next one. She hit the floor hard, rolling a few feet before tumbling down the stairs. She struck the wall at the bottom of the stairway, and a ceramic vase toppled off of its shelf, crashing on top of her head.

"Oooh," she moaned, rubbing her head as she stoof up, "that was a horrible idea."

Her cell phone began to ring, and she answered it.

"Are you all right, Grapity?" the voice on the other end asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. "Where's my exit?"

"Go outside, there will be a phone booth at the street corner."

"Aw," the cat whined, "I was hoping I'd get to jump between a few buildings first!"

"Not now, Grapity," the voice reprimanded her, but then it paused. "Okay, maybe later. But right now you need to get out of there!"

"Ugh, fine," the cat grumped before hanging up the phone. With that, she ran the rest of the way down the stairs and out through the door. Sure enough, there was a telephone booth just a few yards away. As the cat began to make her way towards it, the sound of screeching tires filled the air, and a massive dump truck rounded the corner, aiming itself directly at the telephone booth. One of the suited cats was seated inside.

"Oh, come on," the cat muttered. "That's just overkill!"

But then she started to run. The truck's tires squealed on the pavement, sending it flying towards the phone booth. The cat put on a desperate burst of speed, threw the door open, and picked up the phone just as the truck smashed into the side, going straight through the booth and into the building behind it.

Once the dust had settled, the cat stepped out of the truck and went to inspect the rubble. There was no body.

"She got out," he said as his companions came to join him.

"It doesn't matter," the second one said. "We know who they're targeting."

The third one nodded, "His name is Nutto."

There was a moment of suspenseful silence, and then the first cat snickered.

"Nutto," he muttered, turning to lead the others away. "What a stupid name."


End file.
